Thursday, August 11, 2011

The Land of Uncertainty- Part 2

I think the hardest part of being here has been seeing all these other precious children. Some are bald, some are not. Some are tall and some are no bigger than my own little one who hugs me at my knee.
My heart goes out to them and their parents, and I wonder if we are heading down the same path they are on.

Every fiber of being is screaming, "NOT MY KID"!

I could fight, argue, and scream at God for letting Him allow this to happen. Of course, for right now, we still don't know what "this" is.  We are waiting for biopsy results and we are waiting for a PET scan today. We are waiting to hear if and when we'll get to go home. Waiting, waiting, trying not to go insane.

Instead for now, I am trying to accept this circumstance as a blessing, a gift, an opportunity for something bigger that God has in store for us. There is joy here for the taking. Somewere deep within. We may have to dig deep to find it, but I know it will be there.

I am thankful for the opportunity to meet these wonderful kids. To get to pray for them specificially. To personalize the ugly truths that so many parents deal with every day and our own life's circumstances allow us to move to the back of our minds- not out of cruelty or even indifference, but just because unless you have to deal with it every day you don't want to.

They have a school here in the hospital. For most kids, I would suppose it helps create a sense of normalcy. For my homeschooled kid, a novelty I hope will be a distraction.

1 comment:

Art Project Girl said...

Julie, My heart is aching for you and your son, my hands are praying, and my head is saying the same thing why? The fact that you caught this at such an early stage is so good, you are such attentive parents. Lumps come and go and many would've just waited to see. Thank god you acted.

Behind all the hard stuff is the strength that will come from this. I am praying for Ryan and telling my family and friends to do the same.